Marry Your Best Friend!

This week I started reading out of two books that I found to be very beneficial in regards to marriage and making marriage healthy and happy. I loved how similar the books are, but written in different perspectives. One from a secular point of view, and the other was religious. Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard and the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. I really enjoyed these two perspectives because they give good advice to married couples on how to make the most of your marriage and make it as strong as possible. One thing I found that I really liked was the emphasis to make a marriage good, is to have your spouse become your friend. To me that seems obvious though, right? I couldn’t imagine not marrying my best friend. Phil and I are two peas in a pod, we complete each other and he is my better half. I wouldn’t even dare to marry someone who I didn’t share that deep connection with. Gottman states that “happy marriages are based on a deep friendship”. Couples need to have respect and love for each other or the marriage cannot be successful. I think it is important to learn everything you can about them. I know Phil better than I know myself and I would say that he knows me better than I know myself as well. I know his likes, dislikes, fears, greatest desires, and he knows that same for me. Our relationship is so strong because we built it off by becoming friends and putting one another’s desires and needs before our own. We also allow the Lord to be present in our relationship. We know that as we draw closer to each other, we also grow closer to the Lord, just as Elder Bednar describes in his triangle diagram. In order to do this, we have made it a goal to read scriptures and pray daily, as well as attend the temple with each other on a regular basis. We have found that as we do this, we are preparing for when we are married, to have good habits. I like what Goddard says in his book about the only way for a marriage to progress and succeed is if husband and wife rely on what God has provided us. We must let the gospel of Jesus Christ be present in our marriage. It even states that in The Family: A Proclamation to the World” that, “Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of our Lord and Savior.” How true that is! I would say that marriage is most successful when done by the right authority, right time, and the right place. That is the temple. I believe that my marriage will be start off on a good foundation because my sweetheart and I will be sealed for time and all eternity in the temple of the Lord. Our marriage will last even after death.

One of the greatest ways to avoid marital disputes is to become humble, and overcome the Natural man. I believe that if couples have charity and put each other first, the marriage will be blessed and saved. There will be conflict within marriage, but I believe it is important to know how to handle conflict in a way that will bring husband and wife closer, and not tear them apart. I think that if we are able to see our spouse as the Lord sees them, it will be easier to forgive them or let go of our pride when conflict or arguments may arise.

I am not married yet, however, I am well aware that marriage will be difficult but it is worth it. As Elder Joseph B. Worthlin stated, “true love lasts forever and is eternally patient, just as the Lord is”.