I have always though it was a good thing to know your spouse better than you know yourself and have them know you better as well. This week, I was able to reflect on my engagement and see where improvements could be made, My fiancé and I did the quizzes in John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, from chapters 4 and 5 and we felt as if we knew each other very well. It probably helped that we dated a year before we got engaged though. I think that truly knowing your spouse before getting married helps couples realize who they are marrying. One piece of advice I received from several people who I trust, said that you should see that person in several different situations to see how they handle them to know whether or not you agree with how they handle things.
I really like what the Love Map has to offer couples and how it teaches them to know one another. I think it makes sense, I know I wouldn’t want to be married to someone who doesn’t know anything about me! That would be awful. I think it is important to marry your best friend. I know that I wouldn’t want to spend eternity with anyone else!
One thing I find important though is to continue to get to know your spouse throughout life. Right now, it seems like that could be hard, because I feel like I know everything there is to know about Phil, but I know that is not the case! I feel like it is important to often use the Love Map throughout the marriage to learn more about each other, especially because personalities change and there are still things that can constantly be learned about one another!
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